The Holy Grail

I've found it.  Finally.  (And no I'm not using this quest as an excuse for not posting in, like, forever.  I'm just.....overwhelmed.  Sorry).

So I've gone on quite a bit about my travel schedule, and yes you're probably all sick of hearing about the trials and tribulations that air travel plus lack of space in suitcase plus changing weather plus differing mineral content in water blah blah blah can wreak upon my already difficult hair.  When you didn't care about my hair in the first place, you care about YOUR hair.  We all have the same issues with travel, though you straight-haired ladies probably don't come out looking like a roadie from Motley Crue like I do if you're not cautious.

I'm always trying to un-weight my suitcase, which comprises 90% beauty products at any second.  Carrying shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, de-frizzer, straightener, and curl cream is at direct odds with that goal.  My dream is ONE BOTTLE that controls frizz, defines curls, and maintains straight while not drying or crunching.  Until last month, I've thought of that as an absurdist fantasy.  But then I got around to trying Living Proof's Perfect Hair Day.

The claims this stuff makes are amazing.  I'd tell you how it works, but they're hiding their secrets with mystery acronyms.  Can't fault them for that, everyone in my industry counts on that trick to charge big fees, its a time honored tradition.  I can say that its resin (volumizing), silicone (smoothing and anti-frizzing) and oil (de-frizzing and conditioning) free, yet they say you'll achieve all of the desired effects at once.  (Cue photo of Jennifer Aniston with typically fab hair).

For me, the real test is whether or not I can actually straighten my bangs, which are the first part of my hair to curl, being the shortest, and keep them straight, while keeping my curls in some semblance of order when they air-dry.  The first time I tried it, I ignored the admonition to skip leave in conditioner, feeling as I do that this would be akin to leaving home without a bra, and to use a small amount, accustomed as I am to interpreting 'small' as 'size of a quarter'.  The first worked out well, since my hair is dry and brittle.  The second?  When they say small, they mean it.  I wound up with product-y looking bangs.  Not good.  On day two, I used half the amount, and found that my bangs dried to a perfect, smooth bounce in less than half the time it normally takes, and STAYED that way through a typically foggy San Francisco day.  Even more miraculously, the rest of my head looked nearly as good as it does when I use my top curl cream.  OK, not saying much, but its a product not a wig.

Downside?  Largest bottle is small, and costs a medium-sized fortune.  Bizarrely, my four product daily routine winds up being more cost effective than cutting down to a one-product regimen.  That being said, for sheer convenience and suitcase lightening, beyond worth it.    

Random Thought Bubble

I was going to post a long, holier-than-thou treatise on how to pack.  Starting with selecting the right suitcase, which should only be a Tumi or a Rimowa.  Yes, yes, who am I to tell you what to do, double platinum status on two different airlines or not.

You're right.  After #usairways did the following to my poor (practically new) Tumi on a recent flight, I'm just going to get my big trap shut.

The Horror that Has a Name

And they're called blackheads.  Gross, right?  Agreed.  Particularly when you can't get rid of them.  But in fact you can manage this little recurring nightmare, and it isn't even that much work.

When I was a teenager (you know, five years ago), I discovered what seemed to be a permanent constellation of blackheads decorating my nose.  I did what any teenager would have done during that particular decade, and assaulted myself with SeaBreeze.  Didn't work, but, attractively, my nose did turn red and peel.

Then, I developed a more sophisticated approach:  I tried sucking them out with sickly blue St. Ives mud masks.  Also didn't work, plus smelled funny.

Years later, Biore came out with the utterly addictive pore strips, which adhere to your nose, and when dry, peel off to reveal the little oxidized oil plugs sticking up from the tape.  Which provide an endless source of rapt fascination, but, oddly, one's nose still appears to have blackheads, despite the offending oil plugs just having been yanked out.  Why?  The pore itself is stretched out, so still looks dark.  Then attracts yet more dirt and grime, starting the cycle all over again.

So does anything actually work?  Sort of, yes.  First, exfoliate religiously; doing so keeps the dead cells from clogging up on the surface of your skin, and allows the turnover and shedding process to move along as it should.  Second, yes, go ahead and use the Biore strips, OR a mud mask (I happen to love Aesop's Parsley Seed mask) but plenty work quite well, look for ingredients like charcoal and kaolin clay.  And of course the epic Borghese mask is always a go-to favorite.  Just make sure to use the mud mask after exfoliating and steaming for best results.  If you use the Biore strips, try doing a gentle chemical exfoliation afterwards, it helps to tighten up the pores, even if temporarily.  Over time, chemical exfoliation can help to improve the appearance of pores more generally, so keep at it even on off weeks.

See?  Not so hard.  And minimal grossness.

That Took Way Too Long

Normally, one hears a lot of complaints about why it took so long to put wheels on suitcases.  I often wonder the same thing myself, usually while refusing to open a baby-blue relic of the pre-wheels era that I vaguely remember using for storage somewhere back in the early 90s.  My father, helpfully, put this giant, hard-sided bad boy into a shipping crate (weight:  14 pounds BEFORE I stored whatever I stored inside its capaciousness) and sent it to my tiny New York City apartment.  Sometimes I reflect on its small, hand-only handle:  who carried this thing, fully-loaded, with '60's weight hairdryer and all, over Chicago-sized snowbanks and through the unremitting hell of O'Hare airport, back in the day?  And why DID it take so long to think to put little wheels on the bottom.....a few thousand years after the wheel was invented??

It was with the same spirit of wonderment that I contemplated the new beauty vending machine in JFK's terminal 7 recently, stashed somewhere next to a Juicy Couture shop and behind an Embers restaurant.  (Digression:  when SFO was renovated, they put in: a Napa Valley Market;  cleverly designed restrooms with enough door swing clearance to allow one to get in while actually carrying a bag and not fall into the toilet plus stall doors that actually lock and sinks with raised dividers between that one can rest one's bag on without risking a soaking plus leaving a budget to actually clean said restrooms; eateries with things that are actually edible; seating that has some relation to human ergonomics.  JFK went from bad to bad.  How do they do that??)

But back to the beauty vending machine.  Despite the G-d awful non-upgrade to the terminal, featuring absolute shit food, filthy non-working bathrooms that one can't use, and nowhere to sit, they did put in this lovely, thoughtful feature, even if they did hide it somewhere totally random.

How many times have each of us forgotten, or run out of, a mission-critical item while in transit, like cleanser?  Or makeup remover?  Or sunscreen?  This machine is stocked with a thoughtfully edited range of medium to high end products that help out the intrepid traveler in virtually any beauty emergency.  Plus just the idea is fab.  I bought a Dermalogica cleanser duo (makeup remover and cleanser), which, despite my not needing either at all, was awesome.  I also violated a major rule of cosmetics shopping, and bought a Kate Somerville sunscreen without reading the ingredients.  While that didn't work out so well (not just oxybenzone, but a whopping amount of oxybenzone, PLUS retinol palmitate.....) it didn't dampen my enthusiasm for the experience overall.  After all, its me that exhorts any and all to read the label before buying, right?  

True Confession

They say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step in recovery.  So here it goes:  I am a non-practicing self-tanner addict.

That wasn't so hard, was it?  Since I may in fact be the ONLY non-practicing self-tanner addict on earth, you've probably never met anyone who suffers from this condition, but just in case, look for these symptoms:

• pale, almost greenish skin that can serve as a rescue beacon at sea
• phobia of actual sun or tanning beds
• existing and expanding stockpile of self-tanners, some expired, that never seem to get used up

Theoretically, the first two points make me an obvious candidate for self-tanner addiction.  And I get that, so I'm a sucker for any two for one special, anything advertised as looking uber natural on super fair skin, anything that a kindergartner can apply.... But why do I stockpile them until they expire, and sometimes well beyond the sell-by date?  

For one thing, most kindergartners are better at applying self tanner than I am.  For another, I can't reach my back, so unless the self tanner is hyper-subtle, I'll look ridiculous.  For a third, I want to walk out the door and go about my day, but you can't put sunscreen on top of any self-tanner that I've encountered.  Finally, and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I don't like to skimp on my skincare routine, not even for a day.  Because I'm convinced that even a day will cause me to come down with an irreversible case of sagging and wrinkling. Then I stumbled across this little miracle.

Its light.  Its loaded with fabulous skincare stuff.  Its SPF 20.  Its a GRADUAL self-tanner, so you can't screw up too badly.  It doesn't transfer to your clothes.  And get this:  it has subtle, skintone correcting shimmer, so you look more amazing instantly.  Now why did  the founder pick such a retarded name?  Supergoop??  REALLY?

Their name may be funny, but they really have their stuff together when it comes to sunscreen.  Check it out:  NO oxybenzone, lots of good stuff like tocopheryl Acetate, Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract, Helianthus Annuus, (Sunflower) Seed Oil, and Euterpe Oleracea Fruit Extract.

Even I'm using up this whole tube and going back for more.

Breaking News

I was at a conference recently, and joy of joys, found a vat of Eos lip balms on a vendor's table.  They were giving me the fish eye, so I could only take one.  I hazarded a guess that yellow would be lemon flavor (the labels on the bottoms require a magnifying glass), grabbed one and ran off.

In the last few years, Eos lip balms seem to have taken over the universe.  They're adorably spherical, which, handily, makes them MUCH easier to find in one's bag.  They come in bright colors and fab flavors.  They're 99% natural.  The best part? They're about $4 each.  Guilt free, you can buy enough to have one in every pocket.

My only wish was that they had SPF.  So imagine my delight when I walked into my local Ricky's, saw an Eos display, and there right at the top, the new lemon flavor trumpeting the addition of sunscreen.  Higher powers meant it to be, so I bought six.  Bonus:  the lid locks firmly into place, keeping sand, pocket lint, and all other gook out, so fear not leaving them wherever.

Sometimes beauty wishes do come true!

This is Extreme

Extreme Frequent Flier Syndrome.  I have the seat layout of United's entire fleet memorized.  The guy at Vin Volo at EWR yells "Hi SCG" when I walk in.  There are certain TSA agents that I recognize on sight, and loathe with particular fervor.

And I have the hair and skin to prove it.  Dry. Dehydrated.  Dead.  Lifeless.  Add on depressing adjectives as you will, I haven't even had time to blog about it, because I'm too busy being screamed at to power down all devices.  Last week, I had 18 hours between landing from a trip to Europe and hopping on a flight to the west coast, and ran, (literally, with a backpack stuffed with clean clothes) to my hair stylist's apartment to attempt to salvage some semblance of my appearance.

Now you know your relationship with your hair stylist is one of your most longstanding and durable when she not only cuts your hair in her apartment, but 1) lets you show up sweaty 2) lets you use her shower 3) lets you use all of her products and 4) gives you a nice clean towel.  I love you K!  Even better, K has a widely read blog of her own, styles celebrity hair, and has a shower that is absolutely JAMMED with amazing stuff.

So during this most recent shower, out of fear that K would declare half my length "DEAD" and chop it all off, I grabbed the richest looking gook I could find in her bathroom, Shu Uemura Silk Bloom Shampoo and Masque, used the combo, and hoped for the best.  When I rinsed out the conditioner, I could already feel the difference.  My hair felt smoother, and I combed it out without even needing leave-in conditioner or detangler.  Better, K marveled over how shiny my hair was, and miracle of miracles, it wasn't weighed down at all.  The jar describes it as 'firm touch'.  WTF?  No idea.


Of course it has Argan oil, everything seems to these days, but it also has Safflower oil (I'm a huge fan, see previous salad post) and black cumin oil, by which I'm intrigued.  Loaded with omegas, which are as good for the scalp as they are for the hair.  Super important to me, since I'm losing my hair, and fighting it like mad.

Not only was K not mad that I gobbed on the most expensive product in her shower, she gifted me a bottle of Clark's Botanical's Cellular Lifting Moisture Mist.  She is so terrified of frizz that no skin saving miracle will convince her to mist.  Ever.  Period.  I, on the other hand, have been moving this bad boy from bag to bag and have just ordered a replacement bottle.  It not only hydrates, but the essential oils actually do seem to lock in moisture, and the aromatherapy elements calm me down when I'm about to go ninja on someone in the airport.  Yes, the smell is pronounced, so smell it before you buy it!!